Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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