I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
All I want is dick and wine.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
