i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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