Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
