just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
