When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
