dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
