I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
