thus making me awesome and them whores
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
