dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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