There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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