So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
