Pregnant stripper...not hot.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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