I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
