I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
