So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
