Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize