Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
