His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
