One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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