omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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