We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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