We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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