did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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