Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
