9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
