Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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