He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
