Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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