Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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