grandma shit on top of the toilet
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
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