My balls are so social today.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
