haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize