but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
