if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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