So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
