Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
