The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she told me i tasted like america
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
