just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
pray to the hookup gods
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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