Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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