i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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