i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
