just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
