Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
