I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
