Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
