he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
