she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
