Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You were trust falling into bushes
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
