sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
