meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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