he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
