at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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