Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
