i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
