it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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