I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
