I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize