he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
