im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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