there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
