Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
