There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize