What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
