Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
