Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
