I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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