chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
