your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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