You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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