love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
