It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
