Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
