My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
