i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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