Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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