Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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