I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
