Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
