Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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