ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
